Friday, October 9, 2009

Obama to Nobel Prize Committee: "Really guys? You Sure About This?"

Somewhere in Medellín, Juanes is crying. President Barack Obama woke up this morning to the news that he has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.

Obama, according to the Norwegian organization that presented him with the award, Obama was a shoo-in because of his belief that nuclear weapons were bad and his ability to unite people with the promise of peace- his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”. This award, which is basically a celebration of someone who is not George W. Bush being president, comes as Obama’s presidency is sinking deeper and deeper into trouble on nearly every issue the president campaigned on- from the war in Afghanistan to universal health care to green jobs. The American right, which has gained unprecedented momentum since dumping Sarah Palin for hip-hop superstar Michael Steele, is experiencing a renaissance fed by emphasizing the culture of personality around Obama. The left is furious at how Obama is letting a Democratic supermajority slip out of his hands, with even Saturday Night Live mocking the president for having done “absolutely nothing” in his tenure so far. And after months of MSNBC’s tingling feelings up their legs and children’s songs praising the leader in public schools, the last thing the Obama administration needs is a completely unwarranted Nobel Peace Prize.

Obama, fretting nervously and obviously panicked by the prospect of what Fox News was going to do to him when they found out, told the media in a press conference that he did not deserve the award and was completely taken by surprise. He did his best to acknowledge the award while subtly agreeing with all of America in that he had done absolutely nothing. The right didn’t let him live it down, calling it everything from a “travesty” to a “farce” to Dick Morris calling the entire thing an attempt by Europe to “recolonize America“. FNC shouting head Glenn Beck responded with a fake thank-you speech: “Wow. Humbled. I just won Oscar for Best Picture on a movie I ‘hope to make.’ Let it be a call to action for all those who want me to make movies.” The Drudge Report simply ran an Obama file photo with the headline “FOR WHAT?”.

Someone call a babalao (is Michelle’s mom available?), because no one needs a despojo more in this country than Obama, the first man to have his political career significantly hurt by winning a Nobel Peace Prize. Obama’s ability to turn a Nobel Peace Prize a political liability is an exclamation point on his current losing streak with America.

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